Ping-Ko Chiu

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Software Engineer,
Location Technologies @ Apple
pingkochiu [at] gmail.com
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6 October 2020

Cant sleep

by Ping-Ko Chiu

My mind’s racing with thoughts, plans, images, places, and conversations I’ve had. I tried to meditate but i just couldn’t shut my brain off. Every thought that I catch and throw away, another one just replaces it. It is as if I’m trying to rid of a flood with a spoon. Im also feeling this confidence out of no where as if I’m invincible. Im thinking of possible plans for unlikely scenarios, hurdles that i can overcome, languages i can learn, and personal goals i can reach. Maybe I’ve been too convinced by my own will to power lately. Yet I have no confidence in falling asleep! Then I feel the hunger. I can usually sleep through hunger but not tonight. Its not hurting and i can definitely sleep it off but the inability to sleep is really magnifying the sensation. I give in to hunger and reach for some food in the fridge in hope that, at least, I can get a food coma.

tags: Life